It’s not a matter of if, but when we’ll have to sit at the table with our enemies and negotiate.
The key to becoming a better collaborator isn’t waiting for that moment—it’s setting the table yourself and inviting others to join.
My promise to you is this: If you embrace collaboration and choose to be an instigator, you will become a powerful agent for change.
There are many effective strategies for bringing conflicting groups together. I’ll share three of the most impactful:
1. Build Good Faith 🔨
2. Leverage Differences ⚖️
3. Little Solutions Add Up ⛰️
1. Build Good Faith 🔨
Let’s start here.
Adam Kahane, in Collaborating with the Enemy, says:
“Collaboration moves at the speed of trust, but we don’t need to start with trust to begin collaborating.”
While trust helps, what really gets us moving is faith—faith that a better world is possible.
Picture a whiteboard divided in two. On one side are the forces that erode faith:
Fear 🥊 Hatred ❤️🔥 Prejudice 🚫 Complacency 🪦 Lack of Vision 👁️
On the other side? Their opposites—what we must embody to build good faith:
Face fear and complacency with action—go speak to the enemy. 💭 Extinguish hatred with love—show a desire for mutual progress. 🤝 Overcome prejudice with respect—treat them as equals. 🟰 And fight small-mindedness with vision. 🔭
Faith is the first step toward movement. It doesn’t require permission.
2. Leverage Differences ⚖️
Collaboration is not about agreement—it’s about working despite disagreement.
William Taft once said:
“No tendency is quite so strong in human nature as the desire to lay down rules of conduct for other people.”
The moment we try to force alignment, we sabotage collaboration.
Acknowledging our differences doesn’t create division—it creates trust and invites real dialogue.
Differences aren’t a barrier. They’re the raw material for better solutions.
3. Little Solutions Add Up ⛰️
Let me paint a picture.
You’re on a trek to the mountain peak.
You hit a river—too wide to cross. Do you give up? No. You walk downstream and find a fallen tree—a makeshift bridge.
Further on, a herd of bison blocks the trail. They’re dangerous if startled. Do you quit? No. You keep your distance, let them see you, and pass through safely.
You’re near the top now, but the path is filled with jagged boulders. Do you turn back? No. You go slow. One careful step at a time.
Each obstacle was solved not with some grand solution—but with a small one. One moment, one decision, one step.
Collaboration is the same. It’s rarely about big breakthroughs. It’s about staying on the path, solving each challenge as it comes, and not losing sight of the peak.
To bring this home:
Negotiating or collaborating with someone you deeply disagree with is not easy. There will be rivers, wild animals, and boulders—disguised as egos, history, and complexity.
But if you remember these three principles, you will make progress:
Build Good Faith 🔨
Leverage Differences ⚖️
Little Solutions Add Up ⛰️
Now go—be an instigator.
Be an agent for change.
Want wisdom that sticks? Follow this blog and the Underline This Podcast on YouTube and social media for short, impactful articles and videos that get straight to the point. Plus, explore curated tools, books, and resources on the Recommendations page—everything that’s brought real value to me, shared so it can do the same for you.
Underline This Podcast 