We Live in Fear 💀
Fear is inescapable, and for that reason we must learn to manage it. A life skill that’s highly underrated, is developing a fearless mindset. To be clear, a fearless mindset isn’t without fear. It’s a mind that feels the fear, but learns to overcome it as a barrier. How do we learn to overcome our fears?
I’ve pulled guides and practices from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. This is a classic personal development book that transforms fear and doubt into confidence and action. What makes this stand out is that it’s not only inspirational but practical.
Susan Jeffers the Batwoman 🦇
Nobody calls Susan Jeffers the Batwoman, that’s me. Her principles reminded me of one of my favorite films, and that is the Batman franchise. Why? Batman before becoming the masked vigilante, loses everything. His parents are murdered and he lives with a trauma from falling into a cave filled with bats. Instead of living with the trauma, he embraces and learns to overcome that fear. First, it starts with his fear of bats. Then this momentum expands into other facets of his life. This same principle applies in the real world, and that’s what Susan Jeffers teaches. Let’s uncover the woman behind the mask.
Susan earned her doctorate in psychology from Columbia University and began her career as the executive director of the Floating Hospital in New York City. It was her passion for helping people overcome fear and self-doubt that led her to write Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway which has sold millions of copies worldwide and been translated into thirty languages. Why the incredible success?
It’s because her core message is timeless. Fear is a natural part of life, and courage isn’t the absence of fear it’s moving forward with it. Jeffers encourages readers to replace “I can’t handle it” with “I can handle anything that comes my way.”
Susan Jeffers’ influences her global audiences through lectures, media appearances, and personal development workshops. Her teachings have contributed significantly to how we think about confidence, decision-making, and emotional resilience. Whether you’re a corporate leader or a plumber, she inspires her audience to take control of their lives.
Sadly, she passed away in 2012 but her ideas have left an inspirational legacy. Reminding everyone to trust themselves, embrace uncertainty, and live boldly.
Now for the guides.
What Are You Afraid Of? 🔍
All fears boil down to the fear that we can’t handle it. For example, not running that race because what if work gets in the way of training? What if that new opportunity is too stressful? What if I make a mistake?
One of my favorite stoic quotes, says “we suffer more in imagination that we do in reality.” That’s a timeless principle that should be etched in stone. To overcome this fear, try this exercise.
- Write down your top 3 fears. 🕷️
- For each, ask: “What would I do if this happened?” and “Could I handle it?” 🥊
Once you’ve done that, you’ll realize the power that you do have, and that will give a new feeling of empowerment.
Can’t You Make It Go Away? ⁉️
Everyone feels fear, even successful people. The difference is how we respond. Remember the Batman allegory above? He probably does this every day, we just dont see it. Try this.
- Next time you feel fear, say out loud: “This is just fear. And this is normal.”
- Rate your fear 1–10. Then take one small action towards overcoming that fear. ⚖️
From Pain to Power 💪
Life can be seen through two lenses. Pain (victim mode) or power (choice mode). The victim mentality can only get you so far, and I’d liken it to being a beggar. Begging and living off of the empathy of others rather than pulling yourself up and taking care of business. In the words of Daryl from the Office, “A cushy soft nerf life. Sitting on your biscuit, never having to risk it.” Nobody wants to live a nerf life. Practice shifting the dialogue from “I can’t” to “I can handle it.” Here’s the invitation.
- Replace “I can’t” with “I choose.” For example: “I can’t quit my job” → “I choose not to quit my job right now.” This restores control.
Whether You Want It or Not… It’s Yours 🍽️
In life, one way to take back control is to take ownership or responsibility for your life. For the good, the bad, and the ugly we all have some degree of power. Here’s how to take control.
- Notice one area where you’re blaming an external factor.
- Ask: “What can I do to improve this situation?”
Polarity of Life 🤷♂️
You can’t have success without failure. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I’ll say that’s Michael Jordan but I know he’s quoting someone else. You’ll never know what you don’t try. You appreciate the sunny days more with some rainy ones. Aka you can’t know joy without a little sadness. How will ever find your true love without some rejection? Fear begins to fade away when we accept that we need contrast in life. Here you go.
- Reflect on a time when something “bad” led to something better.
- Keep a “growth moments” journal. 📝
When They Don’t Want You To Grow 🪴
Haters are gonna hate. When you’re start climbing, expect others to become judgemental or try to tear you down. Except it and don’t resist your growth.
- Identify someone who limits you (even subtly).
- Practice saying: “I understand you feel that way, but this is important to me.”
How to Make No-Lose Decisions 👍
There are no failures if we’re willing to learn from it. There are no wrong decisions, only different paths of learning. When I had done something wrong as a child, my Mom would always call these moments, “learning moments.” Here’s how to reframe these moments into something of value.
- When deciding between two options, list the benefits of both instead of pros and cons.
- Remind yourself: “Whatever I choose, I can handle it.”
How Whole Is Your ‘Whole Life’ Grid?👨💻
One of the tricks in life is to build a balanced life. One of the benefits of doing this, is that it distracts you from fear in one area. For example, have you met someone who always stresses about work? Chances are they could use more distractions in life, such as a hobby or a Netflix binge. Doing so will make sure fear in one area doesn’t overwhelm you.
- Draw a 9-square grid (like a tic-tac-toe board). Label each square with a life area.
- Score each 1–10 for satisfaction. Strengthen your lowest ones.
Yes Man 🧍♂️
Ever seen the movie Yes Man with Jim Carrie? It’s comical, but also interesting to see what comes from him saying yes to everything. New experiences, new relationships, and new wisdom. Saying yes opens us up to growth and opportunity, while fear closes us off.
- For one week, say yes to opportunities that scare you (small or big).
- Record what happens—you’ll likely feel more alive and capable.
Choosing Love and Trust ❤️
Fear is rooted in scarcity and mistrust. This contracts our self esteem and expectations of the world. On the flipside, love and trust expand our world and vision for the life we deserve to be living.
- Each morning, repeat affirmations like:
- “I am powerful and I can handle whatever comes my way.”
- “I trust the process of life.”
- “I am powerful and I can handle whatever comes my way.”
Filling the Inner Void 🌌
Give to others. Contribution reduces fear, isolation, and makes our shared world a little better.
- Each day, do one small act of giving—time, encouragement, or help.
- Notice how fear shifts into gratitude and purpose.
The End:
Now that we have the exercises and guides, it’s up to us to do the reps. Creating a fearless mindset is like working towards a six pack. It takes a lot of work, but through building habits and practice we’ll notice the fat melt away. However, that fat can come back. Once we’ve learned to manage fear, we need to keep putting in the reps to maintain it.
Thank you for reading, and give a follow on Instagram, X, Threads, and Youtube for more gems that come from reading.
Bonuses:
Here are some of my favorite bonuses from the book that can be applied on a daily basis.
Affirmations to Reprogram Fear:
- “I can handle it.”
- “Everything is happening perfectly.”
- “I’m taking responsibility for my life.”
Visualization:
- Imagine yourself successfully facing a fearful situation. Feel the pride and relief as if it already happened.
Action Steps:
- Do one thing every day that scares you (start small).
- Keep a “Fear → Action → Result” journal.
The Power Shift:
- Anytime you feel victimized, ask: “How am I choosing to feel this way?” Then choose a new perspective.
🧭 Summary Mindset Shift
Pain Mindset
Power Mindset
“I can’t handle it.”
“I can handle it.”
“It’s not my fault.”
“I am responsible.”
“What if I fail?”
“I’ll learn and grow.”
“I hope it works out.”
“I’ll make it work.”
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